2016 Recap

I’ve been balls ass busy this fall, hence the no posting!  Since I have almost a month off from school and during that time I’ll only be working three days a week, I’m going to do some posts recapping my year.  There will be four total: fashion (my favorite outfits from the year), beauty (favorite skin/body care finds and the makeup looks I loved), home decor (I finally decorated my apartment and will share pictures of my favorite little areas), and life-in-general (the good shit that’s happened to me, completely ignore the fucking shit show that was 2016 because we’re all depressed and terrified and I have no interest in talking about that).

First post will be fashion and will go up next week, the matrix willing and the creek don’t rise.


Inspiration from an unexpected source

So I wrote out three paragraphs about why Jenny Slate choosing to star in Obvious Child, a romantic comedy in which a woman has an abortion, is important to me.  I knew while typing that it was largely incoherent, and even after editing and rewriting a few times, I still wasn’t making myself clear.  I think it’s just not something I can articulate because it’s too important to me.  Plus, that wasn’t even what I wanted this post to be about; the point should be that Jenny Slate is a comedic actress, so I wasn’t at all expecting something like this Tweet from her.  It makes me dig her more than I already did.  It’s a good goal to have and a great example of one of the ways that self love can improve our lives.


OOTD: Fuck Flattering

Fat folk are constantly told we need to dress to flatter our figures.  Ya’ll can miss me with that.

When I saw this dress, I was weirdly drawn to it.  I’m not particularly feminine, and while I like pink and lace I never wear it because I’m just not comfortable in them.  Still, this dress sucked me in like whoa.  When I put it on I knew it wasn’t flattering: doesn’t define my waist, adds poof to the places where I’m already bigger, and not a great color for my skin.  But owning something this pretty makes me smile, and I’m not going to not wear a dress I spent money on.

I’m also wearing dainty jewelry, and I’ve read/heard from multiple sources that the bigger your body is the bigger your accessories should be, so people looking at you aren’t confused I guess.  I don’t know.  I mean, I do understand what’s behind that, but I give no fucks.  I like this necklace and it looks pretty with my unflattering dress, so I’m gonna wear it and smile when I pass a mirror.

And I know it might be weird to have a picture of some flip flops, but the gold on the edges just thrills me so much that I have to share.

Dress: Wet Seal Plus, size 2x

Necklace: gift

Shoes: Charlotte Russe (size up!)

Tag: Get To Know Me

So I’ve been awol lately because there are big things going on in the world that I can’t talk about without crying, and then there are frivolous things going on but my mood has been mostly apathetic lately so I don’t feel like talking about that shizz.  Still and all, I want to get back into blogging regularly, and I figured doing a tag post would be good because I don’t have to be remotely creative.  I chose “Get To Know Me” because while I talk about my experiences sometimes, these are things that I wouldn’t be likely to mention in the course of regular blogging.

If you do this tag on your blog, let me know in the comments so I can check it out!

  1. What is your middle name?  Rae.  My first name starts with S, hence my blog name.
  2. What is your favorite color?  Gray!  I can’t tell if I like rainy days because I love gray, or if I love gray because I like rainy days.
  3. Who was your first best friend?  A girl named Christine in my kindergarten class. We once got in trouble for the same thing and we held hands while the teacher scolded us.
  4. How tall are you? 5’5.5 and that half an inch is very important to me.
  5. Cats or Dogs?  Dogs, but I’ve only ever owned cats, and I have two cats right now.
  6. Funniest moment throughout School?  Christ, I was so miserable through school that I’m having trouble thinking of something.  Yeah… I got nothin.
  7. How many countries have you visited?  None.  Epcot doesn’t count, obviously, but that’s the closest I’ve come.
  8. Are you in/gone to college?  I graduated from a four year program and am now in a technical program.
  9. What was your favorite/worst subject in High School?  Favorite was U.S. History and worst was gym.  I actually failed gym one semester because I would sit on the bleachers and read.  Look, I walked all the time and had about four hours of dance class a week.  Playing kickball wasn’t something I felt compelled to do.
  10. What is your Favorite drink?  Black coffee, hot or cold.
  11. What is your favorite animal?  Dairy goats!  Both because they’re hugely useful in terms of what they can provide, and because they’re quite smart and very funny to spend time with.
  12. What is your favorite perfume?  Don’t have one.
  13. Tea or Coffee?  Coffee but I go through tea phases.  I’m in a tea phase right now: drinking Earl Gray and pretending I’m Captain Picard.
  14. What would you (or have you) name your children?  If a girl, Margot Lucia.  Margot for Margot Fontaine and my great grandmother, Margaret, and for Margaret Sanger.  (Yes, she was trash that believed in eugenics and she was racist as hell, but I will fucking slap someone who talks shit on Planned Parenthood.  She’d my deeply problematic fave.)  Lucia because when I was little my mom called me “Lucy” and the name, in French anyway, means “Shining.”  For a boy, Robert, after my dad.
  15. What Sports do you play/Have you played?  I was good at soccer in junior high but I’ve never played on a team.
  16. What is your favorite book?  Ada, Or Ardor, by Nabakov
  17. Who are some of your favorite YouTubers?  I’m gonna hold off on this because I think I want to make a post about it.  On Youtube I watch mostly makeup videos, then fatshion hauls, then comic book videos, and sometimes social activism videos.
  18. What is your favorite movie?  To keep this short, and since I can’t pick just one, I’m gonna list the first five I think of that I love: Jurassic Park, All That Jazz, Cabaret, Stark Trek: First Contact, Hocus Pocus
  19. Are you Single or Taken?  Single
  20. Whats your idea of an ideal first date?  This is gonna sound pretentious, but hear me out: going to the Philadelphia Museum of Art for a few hours.  I learn a lot about people by seeing what art they’re drawn to and hearing why, and I feel like the art I love says more about me than my hobbies or whatnot.  Plus, I was two classes short of a degree in art history, so in the event of awkward silences I can jabber about the art.  Then off to a bar for a few beers, and sex if there’s chemistry.  I love first date sex.
  21. How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had? Oh lord.  I’d have to make a list of names to remember them all, and I can’t be bothered.  But only three relationships that I’d consider serious.
  22. Favorite memory from childhood?  My dad putting me in the car and driving us around Kelly Drive, which is a street that goes along a river and is lined with trees.
  23. Do you speak any different languages and how well?  I remember enough French to be able to translate when something I’m reading uses French expressions, and I can sometimes figure out what a person is saying in French, but not if they’re a native speaker.  I have an okay accent.
  24. Do you have any siblings?  One brother, thirteen years younger than me.
  25. How would you describe your fashion sense?  Lazy.
  26. What is your favorite restaurant?  A bar in Old City, Philadelphia, called Eulogy.
  27. What are some of your favorite tv shows?  Well, True Blood is fucking hilarious.
  28. PC or mac?  MAC.
  29. What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)  iPhone
  30. Tell us one of your bad habits!  I’m a smoker.

TMI Tuesday: Carnage in the Loo

I got my period when I was eleven, and until my early twenties I had to set an alarm to go off during the night so that I could change my tampon and avoid waking up in a pool of blood.  (I honestly didn’t care because bodily fluids don’t bother me, but my parents were pissed about my sheets getting bloody.  Why that mattered when I was the only one sleeping on them and I didn’t care I don’t know, but I digress.)

One night when I was about thirteen or fourteen, I got up to deal with the impending flood.  I didn’t turn on the bathroom light, because who wants to be blinded when they just woke up and are about to go back to bed?  I pulled out my tampon while standing over the toilet (is this weird?  I now sit to do that, so I feel like maybe it’s weird).  The tampon was very saturated, and it swung out away from me when I removed it.  I cleaned myself up, replugged, and went back to bed.

The next morning I was woken by my mother, who was something between amused, disgusted, and angry.  She walked me to the bathroom, shut the door, and told me to look.

In addition to being plagued with a period that overwhelmed a super jumbo tampon within four hours, I also had huge blood clots.  Even now, years later when my period is less intense, they look like deflated balloons, and can completely cover a shower drain.  When I pulled out the tampon in the night (band name!), a blood clot flew off of the tampon, landed on the door, and slid down a few feet.  The trail of blood had congealed on the door, with a clump of clot near the bottom.

I found it hilarious.  My mother cracked a smile once I cleaned up the carnage.

OOTD x 2: Pattern Repeat

I loved this pattern so much that I bought a dress and tank with it.  Here’s outfits with both!

Wore this first one on Friday when I went to the movies.  (And I realized while taking the first picture that I’ve been doing all my OOTDs without the purse I carry everyday, so here it is!)


Tank: Loft, size XL

Jeans: Old Navy, size 14

Sweater: Old Navy, size large

Shoes: Asos

Earrings: gift

Bag: Modcloth


I greatly adore this dress, but if I wore it as-is out in public in my neighborhood, the catcalls and physical harassment would send me crying back to my apartment.  It’s much less cute with the tank over it, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  (Ironically, men would get to see more of women’s bodies in public spaces if they’d keep their mouths shut and their hands to themselves, but I digress.)

I wore this Saturday to get lunch with a friend.

Dress: Loft, size XL

Jacket: Old Navy, size large

Tank: Gap, size XL

Shoes: Asos (same as Friday)