Don’t tell me I’m not fat.

I had trepidations about starting a blog about my experiences as a fatty, because I am “only” a size 14.  Then I decided that was bull shit.  I’m fat.  I experience life as a fat woman and if I want to write about that, I will.

I wear plus sized clothes.
Trying to trim my pubes is a struggle because I have to hold in my gut with my arm and attempt to peer around it.
People get huffy when I sit next to them on public transit.
I’ve gotten side-eye from food delivery people.
People have laughed when I’ve needed to run to catch a bus.
I was hospitalized for mental health issues and was asked if I wanted information about weight loss.
My family assumes I want to lose weight.

I have more examples of my experiences as a fat person, but they don’t matter.  What matters is that I identify as a fat person.  And being able to fit into an XXL at a straight sized store doesn’t cancel out my experiences as a fat person.  It certainly gives me an amount of privilege, but it doesn’t magically erase my big fat ass.  I identify as a fat person.

According to my BMI I am obese.  But, again, my BMI and dress size and measurements don’t qualify me to be called a fat person.  My identity does.  Being smaller than other fat people doesn’t make my experiences and opinions less valid, it makes them different.  If I gain weight my experiences and opinions might change, but I won’t disown my previous thoughts and feelings.  I’m fat.  Can I say it again?  I’m fat.  Don’t tell me I’m not; you don’t decide my identity.

For more thoughts on the diversity of sizes among fatties, check out this article and these blog posts:
Sometimes I Feel Like a Circus Fat Lady but That Doesn’t Mean You Aren’t Fat Too
Small Fatties, Acceptable Fatties and More
Why My Fat is Different From Your Fat: Some Thoughts on Thin Privilege at Different Sizes


2 thoughts on “Don’t tell me I’m not fat.

  1. I hate when people act like there is some minimum needed to really be fat in the fat acceptance movement. I typically wear a size 16, my BMI classifies me as morbidly obese, I get crap from people for being fat, and I have faced poor healthcare on account of my body size.
    Though actually, I've considered myself fat for a long time, even back when I was wearing a size 9 in high school and only overweight by BMI (I have never, that I can remember, been a "normal" BMI). Sometimes I look back and think "I wasn't fat!", the thing is, it wasn't just a case of poor self esteem or a distorted body image, I identified as fat because I've been told my whole life I was fat. I was bullied through elementary and middle school for being fat. It got better in high school but I still got made fun of for being fat, I had an abusive boyfriend who used my weight as a way of belittling me and making me feel worthless. After all that, when I discovered fat acceptance, it was so encouraging! It was fabulous to see other people celebrating fat women and talking about issues faced.
    i'm all for recognizing relative privilege. I have certain privileges at my size that larger people don't, and even more when I was smaller. But still, why push anyone who finds support and acceptance from fat acceptance away because they don't meet our idea of what "fat" is?

    Liked by 1 person

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